A random collection of films authored by or about my transgender, intersex sisters, and gender-nonconforming persons all over the world. I watched some of them, and I was inspired by some of them. I met some of the authors and heroines, some of them are my best friends, and I had the pleasure and honor of interviewing some of them. If you know of any transgender documentary that I have not covered yet, please let me know.

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To tylko Ja, Stasia

Director: Justyna Banaś & Krzysztof Sienny
Release Year: 2013

Synopsis:
In a world where discussions on gender identity are becoming more prominent and widely accepted, the 2013 documentary "To tylko Ja, Stasia" (English: "It Is Only Me, Stasia") offers a deeply personal and introspective exploration of one woman’s journey through self-discovery, struggle, and liberation. Directed by Justyna Banaś and Krzysztof Sienny, this poignant Polish documentary focuses on the life of Stasia, a transgender woman, who shares her experience of transitioning from male to female in a society that often struggles to understand or embrace gender fluidity.
 
At the heart of "To tylko Ja, Stasia" is Stasia herself, whose open and vulnerable interview throughout the documentary gives the audience an intimate look at her emotional and physical transformation. The film focuses on her transition, both in terms of her gender identity and the process of how she navigates the world as a woman, after spending much of her life trapped in a body that did not reflect her true self.
 
This personal narrative serves as a window into the realities faced by transgender people, particularly in a cultural context where there are still many stigmas and misunderstandings around gender nonconformity. Stasia’s story is not just about her transition in the medical or physical sense, though the film does cover the difficult and sometimes traumatic processes of hormone replacement therapy, surgeries, and the adjustments to her body. It’s also about the internal journey of reconciling her true identity with the world around her. As she describes, for much of her life, she felt imprisoned by the mismatch between her assigned gender at birth and her internal sense of self. This dissonance led her to years of emotional and psychological turmoil, as she was unable to express herself fully as the woman she always knew she was.
 
The film's most powerful moments come when Stasia reflects on the social and personal challenges she has faced throughout her life. These include discrimination, rejection, and a pervasive sense of alienation from mainstream society. Stasia’s candid reflections on these issues expose the difficulties of living as a transgender individual in Poland, where attitudes toward LGBTQ+ people, and transgender people in particular, are still often conservative and unsympathetic. One of the most striking aspects of Stasia’s journey is her ability to articulate the psychological burden that often comes with being transgender in a society that is still coming to terms with the diversity of gender identities.
 
In Poland, where discussions on gender and sexuality have historically been met with resistance, Stasia’s decision to transition was not only a personal choice but also an act of defiance against societal norms. She openly speaks about the emotional scars of being rejected by her family and the social isolation she faced as she struggled to be seen and accepted for who she truly was. Yet, despite these struggles, the film is not solely about hardship or suffering. There is also a sense of resilience and defiance in Stasia's story. Through her bravery in facing adversity, she demonstrates the strength it takes to live authentically. Her experiences, while deeply painful at times, also offer a message of hope for others who may be going through similar challenges. The documentary, in a subtle but profound way, serves as a testament to the transformative power of living one's truth, even when it means confronting overwhelming odds.
 
One of the most touching elements of "To tylko Ja, Stasia" is the exploration of Stasia’s relationships with family and friends. While the documentary presents her life largely through her own perspective, it also highlights the way her transition has impacted those closest to her. The complex emotions surrounding her family’s response—ranging from acceptance to confusion and rejection—sheds light on the challenges that many transgender individuals face when coming out. Stasia’s relationship with her mother is particularly poignant. She recounts the difficulty of explaining her decision to transition to a woman to a mother who, while initially supportive, struggled to fully comprehend the emotional and physical toll the transition would take. In many ways, the documentary highlights the tension that can exist between the transgender individual’s journey to self-fulfillment and the family’s journey to understand and support them. In Poland, where traditional views on gender roles and relationships are still predominant, this is a particularly sensitive issue.
 
One of the key issues that "To tylko Ja, Stasia" grapples with is the issue of social stigma. Transgender people often face discrimination, not just from strangers, but from institutions and society at large. Stasia is no exception. Throughout her story, she reveals how public perception of transgender individuals often comes with a heavy dose of suspicion, ignorance, and sometimes hostility. She discusses the negative stereotypes that are frequently associated with transgender people, such as the notion that they are mentally unstable or simply seeking attention. For Stasia, confronting these stereotypes is part of the larger struggle to live as her true self in a world that does not always make space for people like her. In Poland, where LGBTQ+ rights have only recently become a focal point of social and political discourse, there remains a significant gap in acceptance. The film touches on the barriers to legal and medical recognition of gender transition, which are often bureaucratically and emotionally fraught. Stasia’s experience underscores the idea that, while transitioning might be seen as a personal victory, it is also a political and social statement in a world where gender is still largely binary and the margin for deviation is narrow.
 
By offering Stasia a platform to share her story, "To tylko Ja, Stasia" plays a crucial role in broadening the conversation about gender identity and inclusion. Representation in media and film is an important tool in combating misinformation and prejudice. Stasia’s decision to participate in the documentary was not only an act of self-expression but also an effort to educate and raise awareness. For viewers unfamiliar with the complexities of transgender experiences, the documentary provides a rare and authentic glimpse into the reality of living as a transgender person in a society where gender norms are still strictly enforced. The film’s intimate style—using close-up shots and unobtrusive camerawork—helps to emphasize the emotional weight of Stasia’s words. The focus remains squarely on her, allowing the audience to experience her thoughts, frustrations, and triumphs firsthand. This unfiltered look into her life contributes to the film’s power, as it provides a space where Stasia’s humanity can take center stage, rather than reducing her to a mere subject of gender politics or sensationalism.
 
"To tylko Ja, Stasia" is a poignant and emotionally charged documentary that sheds light on the complex, multi-faceted journey of gender transition. It is a story of self-discovery, perseverance, and the pursuit of authenticity. Through Stasia’s eyes, the film illuminates the struggles faced by transgender individuals in Poland, while also offering a message of hope and courage for others who may be struggling with their own identity. In the end, Stasia’s story is not just about a transgender woman’s quest to live as her true self—it is about the universal desire to be seen, understood, and loved for who we are. Through this documentary, Banaś and Sienny offer more than just a portrait of one woman’s journey. They provide an opportunity for viewers to reflect on their own understanding of identity, compassion, and acceptance in a world that is increasingly learning to embrace the diversity of the human experience. Ultimately, "To tylko Ja, Stasia" serves as a powerful reminder that every person, regardless of their gender identity, deserves the chance to live authentically and without fear of judgment or discrimination.
Image credits: Vimeo

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