A Woman with a Past

2014, Antonette Rea, Canada, English, Monika Kowalska,

Directors: Gwen Haworth
Release Year: 2014

Synopsis:

In the realm of documentary filmmaking, few have captured the complexities of marginalized lives with such intimacy and care as Gwen Haworth. Her 2014 short documentary A Woman with a Past offers a brief but profound window into the life of Antonette Rea, a transgender, intersex poet and activist who has been navigating the rough terrains of life in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside.

 

This 10-minute documentary delves into Antonette’s remarkable journey, capturing not only the challenges she faced but also her resilience, creativity, and self-awareness. The film’s opening lines, "You can never have too much lube," offer a stark and candid glimpse into Antonette’s unapologetic and humorous personality. This quote, which might sound provocative or cheeky to some, reflects the lived experience of a woman who has not only survived but thrived amid significant struggles with homelessness, addiction, and the sex trade. Antonette’s candidness, as expressed through her poetry and life story, becomes a testament to her ability to transform pain into creative energy.

 

“A Woman with a Past” explores Antonette’s past as a sex worker in the Downtown Eastside, a district of Vancouver notorious for its high levels of poverty, drug use, and violence. As Antonette walks through “low track,” the area where she once worked, she reflects on the many years she spent in the sex trade, carrying with her the painful memories of those times. Yet, amidst the hardship, her poetry became a tool for survival, an anchor that allowed her to process and heal from the trauma she endured. Antonette’s poetry, which is central to the documentary, is described by Haworth as “real and raw in a way I could only dream of replicating in my video work.” The intimate nature of her writing is apparent as Antonette shares her work with the camera, revealing how deeply personal and vulnerable it is. As she recalls the days when her poems were written on scraps of paper, stuffed into her bag, and carried with her wherever she went, it becomes clear that her words were more than just artistic expression—they were a lifeline. In her interview with Monika Kowalska, Antonette shared, “My poetry was my most valuable possession... that was my soul, that was my heart.” It’s this kind of raw honesty that makes her work so powerful. One of the most poignant moments in the film comes when Antonette reflects on what she would save in a crisis: "If there’s a fire alarm going, what do I do? I’d grab my poetry.” Her words capture the essence of her life and the importance of her art in keeping her grounded, even when everything else around her was crumbling.

 

Antonette’s poetry is more than just a collection of words; it is a narrative of survival. Born out of addiction and the harsh realities of street life, her poems represent a journey of self-discovery and healing. As she reveals in her interview with Monika Kowalska for her blog Heroines of My Life, she didn’t think the adversity she experienced affected her until she stopped using drugs and escaped from a life of prostitution. Writing became a way for her to process everything she had endured—“poetic non-fiction,” as she calls it, written in raw, unpolished language that reflected her emotional landscape at the time. Antonette’s works were often written longhand on scraps of paper, a testament to the impermanence and instability of her life at the time. However, poetry was not just a means of coping; it became a vehicle for transformation. As she recounts, performing her poetry on stage felt like taking the bandage off a wound that had almost healed. By sharing her stories with others, she found a way to let go of the past, accepting the scars but living in the present moment.

 

The documentary also touches on Antonette’s transgender journey and the way her transition has influenced her creativity. As a transgender woman, Antonette’s art is intrinsically linked to her gender identity, and her transition helped unlock her creative spirit. “My creativity seems to be tied to my feminine nature,” she shares in the interview with Monika Kowalska. It was only when she embraced her true self—when Antonette, the woman, was allowed to emerge—did her art truly flourish. Antonette’s transition, which occurred later in life, was not without struggle. She recounts the intense loneliness and social rejection she faced as she transitioned in her 40s, including the lack of support from her family and the stigmatization she encountered in the broader community. Yet despite the many challenges, her poetry became a source of liberation. Her experience resonates deeply with other trans women, offering a beacon of hope for those navigating similar struggles. Antonette’s words of wisdom to other transgender people struggling with gender dysphoria are powerful: “We have to be honest with ourselves first. It’s a journey of self-discovery.”

 

Beyond her personal journey, Antonette is also an activist, working to bring attention to the struggles faced by transgender individuals, particularly in marginalized communities. She has long been involved in education and advocacy, working alongside Gwen Haworth on workshops that promote understanding and respect for gender variance. In A Woman with a Past, Antonette is not only sharing her own story but also urging others to remember the historical struggles of trans women, particularly those who worked in the sex trade as a means of survival. The documentary is a reminder of how far the trans community has come, yet how much more work remains. Antonette’s reflections on the current state of transgender rights in Canada underscore the progress that has been made in recent years. She notes, “The medical community has become more supportive, especially when it comes to hormones and SRS,” and there is a growing acceptance of gender diversity in major urban centers. However, as she points out, this progress is not universal, and trans individuals, particularly those living in rural or conservative areas, still face significant challenges.

 

At the heart of A Woman with a Past is Antonette’s enduring love for her daughter, who gave her the strength to change her life and leave behind a cycle of addiction and violence. Her daughter’s love has been a source of inspiration and resilience for Antonette, and her story is one of love’s redemptive power. The documentary concludes by reminding us of Antonette’s quiet yet powerful activism—through her poetry, through her life, and through her example as a woman who survived and continues to fight for a better future for all trans women. In the words of Gwen Haworth, “Antonette is one of our unsung heroes,” and A Woman with a Past is a chance to give her the recognition and love she deserves.

 

A Woman with a Past is not just a documentary; it is a love letter to the resilience of the transgender community and the healing power of art. Through Antonette Rea’s life and poetry, we are reminded that the road to self-acceptance, while often fraught with pain and struggle, is also paved with hope, creativity, and the undeniable strength of the human spirit. Antonette’s story is a testament to the fact that no matter how difficult our pasts may be, we can still move forward and find meaning, healing, and beauty in our lives.

via: xtramagazine.com

youtube

My Interview with Antonette Rea: Heroines of My Life