Release Year: 2002
Original title: Alt om min far
Synopsis:
All About My Father (Alt om min far, 2002) is an intimate documentary that explores the life of Esben Esther Pirelli Benestad, a Norwegian physician, sexologist, and prominent transgender activist, through the eyes of her son, Even Benestad. Directed by Even, the film offers a warm, humorous, and poignant portrait of a remarkable individual who, despite facing societal and familial challenges, finds pride in her gender identity and career as a pioneer in the field of transgender rights.
The film not only provides a personal perspective on Esben Esther’s journey, but also reflects on the broader themes of gender identity, sexuality, and the complex nature of family dynamics.
The documentary won critical acclaim at the 2002 Berlin International Film Festival, where it was awarded the prestigious Teddy Award for Best Documentary. It also won several other accolades, including the Critics' Award at the Gothenburg Film Festival and the Documentary Award at The Norwegian Short Film Festival in Grimstad. Additionally, All About My Father was recognized with the 2002 Amanda Award for Best Norwegian Film. The film was widely praised for its authenticity, humor, and emotional depth, earning strong reviews from critics across Norway.
The film centers around Esben Esther Pirelli Benestad, a medical doctor and sexologist who became one of Norway's most prominent transgender activists. Born as a man, Esben Esther transitioned in her adult life, becoming a vocal advocate for transgender rights and sex-positive education. She has written numerous books on gender identity and transgender issues, including Kjønn i bevegelse (2001), Transseksualisme - hvor går vi og hvor står vi? (2002), Transekjønn og diagnoser (2004), and Sexologi i praksis (2006). As a sexologist, Esben Esther was deeply invested in exploring the nuances of transgender identity and sexuality, advocating for greater acceptance and understanding of transgender people within society.
Even Benestad, Esben Esther's son, sought to document his parent’s life, not as a clinical or academic project, but as an intimate and personal portrait. Armed with a small video camera, the director set out to chronicle his father’s journey in a way that was both authentic and deeply personal.
Through home videos, archival Super 8mm films, and candid interviews, the film provides a nuanced exploration of Esben Esther’s life, showing both her struggles and triumphs with humor and affection. The film also delves into the dynamic between parent and child, with Even sharing personal memories of growing up in a family where his father was a respected physician and his mother was a transgender woman.
The documentary is remarkable not only for its insights into transgender identity but also for its portrayal of a loving family. Even’s approach to telling his parent’s story is infused with warmth, humor, and irony. The audience is invited into the intimate spaces of the family’s home life, including celebrations, mundane moments, and profound conversations. What emerges is a story of acceptance, love, and resilience in the face of societal prejudice.
Esben Esther Pirelli Benestad’s life story is not just about the personal experience of gender transition but also about the political and social dimensions of being transgender. In her interview with Monika Kowalska for the blog Heroines of My Life, Esben Esther discusses the challenges of writing and studying transgenderism as a sexologist who is herself transgender. She highlights the tension between the personal and the professional, particularly in the context of the medical community’s treatment of transgender people. Esben Esther explains that for much of her career, the prevailing therapeutic model discouraged therapists from identifying too closely with their clients, particularly when it came to homosexuality or transgender identity. However, she suggests that recent shifts in the therapeutic landscape have allowed for a more empathetic and open approach, where professionals can embrace their personal experiences as part of their expertise.
Throughout the documentary, Esben Esther’s approach to gender is framed as fluid and dynamic, rejecting binary understandings of masculinity and femininity. In her interview, she acknowledges that while transitioning is important for some transgender individuals, it is not a universal necessity for all. For Esben Esther, the "full transition" is not defined solely by physical changes but by the process of finding one’s true self and achieving a sense of belonging. This perspective is central to her work as a sexologist, as she encourages others to explore their identities without feeling constrained by societal expectations or the pressure to conform to rigid gender norms.
The film also reflects on the social and political challenges faced by transgender individuals, especially in the context of Norway’s healthcare system. Esben Esther points out that transgender people in Norway often face significant barriers in accessing medical care, including hormone treatments and surgeries, due to outdated medical policies and a lack of understanding among healthcare professionals. This issue is a central theme in her advocacy work, and the documentary sheds light on the need for reform in healthcare systems to better meet the needs of transgender individuals.
Beyond her work as a sexologist, Esben Esther is a committed activist for transgender rights. She has been involved in several political campaigns and has spoken out about the need for greater social acceptance of transgender people. In the interview with Monika Kowalska for her blog Heroines of My Life, Esben Esther discusses her involvement with the Liberal Party of Norway and her belief that individuals who are different—whether due to gender, sexuality, or other factors—can make a significant impact in politics and society when they embrace their identities with pride. She also mentions the importance of educating others within the LGBTQ+ community, particularly when it comes to issues affecting transgender people.
Her advocacy extends to media representation as well. Esben Esther expresses appreciation for the way her son depicted her in All About My Father, noting that the film presents a multi-dimensional view of her life and avoids the victim narrative that is often imposed on transgender individuals in the media. She emphasizes that transgender people, like anyone else, are multifaceted and should be seen as resources, not just as victims of societal discrimination. This positive portrayal of transgender identity in the media is something Esben Esther feels strongly about, and she is proud of the documentary’s success in conveying this message.
At the heart of All About My Father is the love and mutual respect between Esben Esther and her family, especially her children, Even and Elisabeth. The documentary explores the emotional complexity of growing up with a transgender parent, showcasing both the challenges and the deep sense of love that binds the family together. Even’s candidness in addressing his own feelings about his parent’s transition adds another layer of depth to the narrative, as he reflects on his own journey of acceptance and understanding.
Esben Esther’s personal life is also a testament to the importance of love and support in overcoming adversity. She is married to Elsa, the love of her life, and together they have a blended family with four grandchildren. Despite the societal challenges they faced as a couple, their relationship is marked by mutual respect and affection. Esben Esther’s openness about her love life—her journey from her first marriage to Elsa, and her pride in being a parent and grandparent—adds another layer of humanity to her story, portraying her as a person who, above all, values personal happiness, love, and connection.
All About My Father is more than just a documentary about a transgender individual. It is a heartfelt exploration of family, identity, and the complexities of being true to oneself in a society that often imposes restrictive norms. The film’s success lies in its ability to balance humor with gravity, portraying both the personal and the political dimensions of Esben Esther’s life. Through Even’s lens, we gain a deeper understanding of transgender identity, not as a single story of struggle, but as a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and love.
Esben Esther’s story, as told in All About My Father, is an inspiring reminder that the most powerful way to understand and appreciate the experiences of others is through empathy, openness, and a willingness to look beyond the surface. It is a film that challenges preconceived notions about gender and identity while offering a rich, layered portrait of a remarkable person who, against the odds, has carved out a space for herself in both her family and in the broader cultural and political landscape of Norway.
As Esben Esther herself reflects, “I am not a man, not a woman, but a very happy transperson.” This sentiment encapsulates the essence of All About My Father—a celebration of the freedom to be oneself, unapologetically and with joy.
My interview with Esben Esther Pirelli Benestad: Heroines of My Life
Trailer:
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