A random collection of films authored by or about my transgender, intersex sisters, and gender-nonconforming persons all over the world. I watched some of them, and I was inspired by some of them. I met some of the authors and heroines, some of them are my best friends, and I had the pleasure and honor of interviewing some of them. If you know of any transgender documentary that I have not covered yet, please let me know.

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I Am Sirat

Director: Deepa Mehta and Sirat Taneja
Release Year: 2023

Synopsis:
In a world that still struggles to understand the complexities of gender identity and the lives of transgender people, "I Am Sirat" (2023) offers a powerful and intimate exploration of one woman's experience as she navigates the challenges of being both herself and someone she is not expected to be.
 
Directed by Deepa Mehta, an internationally acclaimed filmmaker, and Sirat Taneja, a transgender woman from New Delhi, this documentary uniquely centers Sirat’s voice, making it not just a story about a trans person, but a narrative led by a trans person, controlled and crafted through her lens. The film premiered at the 2023 Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) and has since garnered attention for its raw portrayal of the complexities surrounding gender identity, familial love, societal expectations, and personal transformation in contemporary India.
 
Living Between Two Worlds At the heart of "I Am Sirat" is the life of Sirat Taneja, a transgender woman living in New Delhi. Sirat is a woman, but not everyone in her life sees her that way. While she enjoys a fulfilling life as a professional in the Government of India, she is forced to hide her true self when she returns home to live with her mother, who still perceives her as the son she lost to gender transition. In the privacy of her home, Sirat cannot be herself—she must continue to perform the role of a son, adhering to the traditional and conservative expectations of her family. However, when she steps outside her house, Sirat is free to embrace her authentic self. She can dress as a woman, be surrounded by supportive friends, and express herself openly on social media, where she has gained popularity as a trans influencer. This duality—living as someone she is not in the space of her home, while fully embodying her true identity in the world—serves as a poignant metaphor for the struggles of many transgender individuals, especially those in cultures where traditional gender roles are rigidly enforced. The documentary paints a picture of Sirat’s internal conflict, as well as the external pressures she faces. The emotional heart of the film is the tension between duty to her mother and the quest for self-determination, and it’s here that Sirat’s personal narrative becomes a microcosm of modern India. It reflects the larger societal struggle between tradition and progress, showing how change often happens unevenly and painfully. 
 
What sets "I Am Sirat" apart from many other documentaries about marginalized communities is the collaborative nature of its filmmaking. Sirat Taneja is not just the subject of the documentary; she is also its co-director. This decision to let Sirat control the narrative is a powerful and transformative gesture, as it allows her to tell her own story, in her own voice, on her own terms. Unlike most documentaries where the filmmaker’s perspective dominates, this film is an authentic reflection of Sirat’s lived experience. Sirat’s personal involvement in the filmmaking process is most evident in the footage shot by her on her smartphone. These intimate, handheld shots offer a glimpse into her private moments—getting ready for the day, talking with her mother, preparing meals, and simply being herself. In these scenes, we see Sirat’s life as she sees it, unfiltered and real. These vertical shots are seamlessly integrated into the rest of the film, which is primarily shot by Deepa Mehta, who uses traditional landscape framing. The shift between these two perspectives is smooth, and the contrast in formats enhances the emotional weight of the film. The vertical footage, shot by Sirat, conveys a sense of intimacy and personal control, while Mehta’s broader cinematic lens provides a more conventional, yet equally powerful, viewpoint of Sirat’s journey. The combination of Sirat’s personal footage and Mehta’s interviews with the people around her creates a nuanced and multifaceted portrait of Sirat’s life. We hear from Sirat herself, but we also hear from her colleagues, friends, and even her mother. The documentary becomes a conversation between Sirat and the world around her—a world that both supports and rejects her in different ways. 
 
One of the most compelling and heartbreaking aspects of "I Am Sirat" is the portrayal of Sirat’s relationship with her mother. In many ways, Sirat’s mother embodies the tension between tradition and modernity that pervades much of Indian society. Despite Sirat’s success and self-assuredness as a woman, her mother continues to view her as a son—a role Sirat can no longer fulfill. Sirat’s love for her mother is palpable throughout the film, even as her mother refuses to accept her for who she truly is. This heartbreaking rejection is all the more poignant because it highlights a common struggle faced by many transgender people, especially in cultures where familial ties and parental approval are so deeply ingrained. Sirat’s story is not just about her own journey to self-acceptance, but also about the pain of longing for the acceptance of a parent—someone who, by all accounts, should love her unconditionally, but is instead trapped in a worldview that does not allow for her transition. In one particularly powerful moment, Sirat speaks about the possibility of undergoing gender-affirming surgery, and while she knows her mother may never accept this change, she expresses a quiet hope that one day, her mother will embrace her again. It’s a deeply moving reflection of the enduring desire for parental love and acceptance that so many queer individuals experience. As Sirat puts it, “A mother is a mother. And her child is her child.” This sentiment resonates not just for transgender people, but for anyone who has ever experienced the tension between personal truth and family loyalty. 
 
While much of the film focuses on Sirat’s internal struggles, it also explores the broader transgender community in New Delhi. Sirat takes Mehta to meet other transgender women, including a friend who has recently undergone gender-affirming surgery. Through these interactions, we gain insight into the unique challenges faced by trans women in India. Notably, Sirat’s friend describes how the greatest pressure she faces does not come from her family, but from the hijra community, a traditionally marginalized group of trans people in South Asia. These conversations highlight the complex layers of identity and belonging within the transgender community itself, where issues of class, caste, and community loyalty can sometimes create divisions. For Sirat, her choice to leave the hijra community was not one of rejection, but of survival—choosing between the community’s expectations and the love of her mother. The film makes it clear that the journey of a transgender person is never straightforward, and that there are no easy answers to the difficult questions of identity, family, and love. 
 
Despite the heavy themes of rejection and struggle, "I Am Sirat" is also a celebration of transgender joy. Sirat’s vibrant personality and infectious sense of humor shine through in the film. Whether she’s lip-syncing to pop songs on Instagram or laughing with friends, she exudes a sense of confidence and joy that transcends the pain she has endured. Her story is not just about survival, but about thriving—finding community, creating visibility, and living life to its fullest. The film’s dedication to “our mothers” in the final credits feels especially significant in this context. It is a recognition of the deep, often painful, but ultimately powerful relationship between transgender people and their families. For many queer South Asians, the path to self-acceptance is intertwined with the hope of family acceptance, and "I Am Sirat" beautifully captures this duality. 
 
"I Am Sirat" is more than just a documentary about a transgender woman; it is a profound exploration of identity, family, love, and the relentless pursuit of self-truth in a world that often demands conformity. Through Sirat’s own lens and voice, the film offers a raw, authentic, and beautifully constructed portrait of what it means to live as a transgender person in contemporary India. It is a film that challenges the audience to think deeply about the complexities of gender identity, the power of familial love, and the importance of visibility for marginalized communities. By allowing Sirat to tell her own story, "I Am Sirat" not only gives her the space to be heard, but it also opens up the possibility for greater empathy and understanding for the experiences of transgender people worldwide. In the end, "I Am Sirat" is a testament to the strength of the human spirit—the courage to live authentically, to love oneself, and to continue fighting for acceptance, even in the face of rejection. It is a beautiful, poignant, and inspiring film that will resonate with anyone who has ever struggled to be true to themselves.
 
via: youtube
Image credits: YouTube

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