A random collection of films authored by or about my transgender, intersex sisters, and gender-nonconforming persons all over the world. I watched some of them, and I was inspired by some of them. I met some of the authors and heroines, some of them are my best friends, and I had the pleasure and honor of interviewing some of them. If you know of any transgender documentary that I have not covered yet, please let me know.

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Home » , , , » Alexis Arquette: She's My Brother

Alexis Arquette: She's My Brother

Director: Matthew Barbato
Release Year: 2007

Synopsis:
Alexis Arquette: She's My Brother (2007), directed by Matthew Barbato, is a deeply introspective documentary that captures the volatile, multifaceted journey of Alexis Arquette, the transgender actor and activist, in the months leading up to her sex reassignment surgery. The film is a portrait of an individual in flux—someone grappling with identity, gender, and personal transformation. But it is also a work of artifice, one that, at times, resists offering any clear answers or resolutions to the questions it raises. In essence, it is as much about the process of searching for identity as it is about the identity itself.
 
The documentary, filmed in 2005, follows Alexis Arquette—a member of the famous Arquette family, which includes actors Patricia, Rosanna, David, and Richmond—as she navigates the final stages of her gender transition. Born Robert Arquette, Alexis had lived as a female "on and off" since the age of 13 but was now preparing for what she described as "the final step" in her gender-affirming process. Through a series of raw, unpolished video diaries, disjointed interviews, and moments of private reflection, Arquette offers the viewer a glimpse into her complex persona, revealing two distinct Alexises: one the playful, narcissistic performer and the other a reflective, even reluctant philosopher confronting the weight of her transition.
 
From the outset, She's My Brother offers a disorienting experience. The camera doesn't seek to clarify but to complicate, reflecting Arquette's own ambivalence about her transition. In one moment, we witness her exuberantly flaunting her fluorescent lime thong at a film premiere, a clear exhibition of her love for attention and her sense of performative masculinity and femininity. The next moment, we see Arquette in a therapy session, grappling with the deeper psychological aspects of her transition, discussing the public's voyeuristic fascination with transgender people, and questioning the very nature of gender itself. This duality—the self-aware narcissist and the sensitive, intellectual philosopher—emerges throughout the film. Alexis seems to relish in playing both roles, sometimes provoking the camera, at other times retreating behind layers of defensiveness and intellectualism.
 
One of the most striking moments comes during a phone conversation, where the camera is positioned just outside her apartment, capturing her increasingly evasive responses to the filmmaker's probing questions. "What do you waaaaant from me?" she snaps, her voice tinged with frustration, as if the film itself has become a source of exploitation rather than exploration. These juxtapositions—of public bravado and private vulnerability—form the heart of the documentary. Arquette appears to be in a constant state of flux, not just physically but emotionally and psychologically. She vacillates between a frank and unapologetic embrace of her identity and a more reluctant, introspective contemplation of the public’s insatiable demand for her to define herself. The documentary, in turn, never quite settles on a single viewpoint. Instead, it captures the contradictory forces at play in Arquette's life, from her desire for fame and visibility to her frustration with being reduced to a singular narrative about her transition.
 
She's My Brother is not a traditional documentary in the sense that it doesn't seek to provide closure or answers. If anything, the film seems to eschew clarity in favor of expressionistic evasion. At times, it feels more like a collage of fleeting moments than a coherent, linear narrative. The footage itself is rough and handheld, adding to the sense of chaos and instability that pervades Arquette's journey. The camera moves erratically, often zooming in on her engorged lips during a moment of self-reflection, only to quickly shift to a disjointed phone conversation or an awkward interaction with a publicist. These jarring transitions might frustrate some viewers, as they challenge the conventional norms of documentary filmmaking, but they also mimic the unpredictability and discomfort of Arquette’s own life and identity struggles. Perhaps the most profound manifestation of the film's fragmented nature lies in the question of whether Arquette ever went through with her surgery.
 
The documentary’s conclusion, in which Arquette retreats into Hollywood with a mixture of defiance and cynicism, does not offer a clear resolution. She comments on the exploitation of her image, her frustration with the public’s need to dissect her sexuality, and how her body and identity have become objects of voyeuristic interest. In a final moment, shot five months later, Arquette is seen driving away into the sunset, leaving the viewer with more questions than answers—both about her transition and her true feelings about the way the world views her. The film’s unwillingness to provide a definitive answer about her surgery or about the "final step" of her transition reflects the ambiguity that Arquette herself embodied. It is both a commentary on the pressure that transgender individuals face to conform to a single narrative of transition and a reflection of Arquette's own inability—or unwillingness—to fully fit into any one box. The movie leaves us with a sense of uncertainty about who Alexis truly is and whether she has achieved the "final step" of her transition. This ambivalence is not a flaw of the film but rather its strength; it mirrors the messy, nonlinear nature of personal transformation.
 
At its core, She's My Brother is a radical exploration of identity and gender. While the film offers no simple answers or tidy resolutions, it does challenge conventional ideas about gender, fame, and selfhood. By refusing to offer an easily digestible narrative, the documentary forces the viewer to confront the complexities of being transgender in the public eye, particularly as a figure like Alexis Arquette, who existed in a liminal space between fame, self-expression, and the desire for personal privacy. Arquette's transition, both public and private, was part of her larger journey toward self-realization, one that she pursued with the same open-mindedness and defiance that characterized her career. The film captures her as a woman who, at once, delighted in her role as a performer and celebrity while also questioning what it means to live authentically. Her role as a public figure allowed her to both express herself and expose the world’s complex relationship with transgender people. At the same time, it also revealed how difficult it is to claim ownership of one's body and identity when others continually seek to define you.
 
The documentary was not just a personal portrait of Alexis Arquette, but a reflection of the evolving discourse surrounding transgender identity and gender-affirming surgery in the early 21st century. While She's My Brother was released in a period when transgender issues were still largely misunderstood by the mainstream, Arquette's candidness helped push these conversations into the public consciousness. Arquette was not only an actor but also a transgender activist, advocating for greater visibility and acceptance of transgender people in Hollywood and beyond. Her legacy is one of resilience, candor, and the relentless pursuit of self-definition, even when that process was messy, ambiguous, and fraught with uncertainty. When Alexis Arquette passed away in 2016 at the age of 47, the world lost a unique voice in the ongoing fight for transgender rights and representation. However, She's My Brother remains an enduring testament to her complexity, her defiance, and her refusal to be reduced to a single narrative. It is a film that invites us to consider not just the notion of "becoming" but the very real, human contradictions of being in transition. In the end, the documentary is less about a final transformation than it is about the messy, unpredictable, and deeply personal nature of identity. As Alexis Arquette herself seemed to understand, the journey toward understanding who we are is never as clear-cut as we might hope—and often, the most significant moments happen when we are willing to embrace uncertainty.

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