Release Year: 1992
Original title: Ich bin meine eigene Frau
Synopsis:
"Ich bin meine eigene Frau" ("I Am My Own Woman") is a seminal documentary directed by Rosa von Praunheim, which tells the compelling life story of Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, a German transgender icon and museum founder. Released in 1992, the film made waves internationally, earning praise for its candid portrayal of Charlotte’s extraordinary survival through turbulent political eras. This semi-documentary, blending dramatized re-enactments with real interviews, captures the resilience and complexity of Charlotte’s life as she navigated the challenges of living as a trans woman in Nazi Germany, East Germany under communist rule, and post-reunification Germany.
Charlotte von Mahlsdorf was born Lothar Berfelde on March 18, 1928, in Berlin-Mahlsdorf. From a young age, she exhibited a strong desire to live as a woman, despite the rigid gender expectations of Nazi Germany. As a child, Lothar preferred activities traditionally associated with femininity, such as cleaning and organizing. Her journey towards embracing her identity as Charlotte began during a formative experience in East Prussia, where a transgender man named "Aunt" Luise allowed Lothar to experiment with feminine clothing and provided him with a book by Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld, "The Transvestite". This early exposure to gender fluidity and the freedom to express herself in a way that aligned with her inner self marked the beginning of Lothar’s transformation into Charlotte.
However, her path was not without significant obstacles. Lothar’s effeminate nature drew the ire of his father, a harsh and authoritarian figure. The oppressive environment led Lothar to commit a desperate act of violence against his father, resulting in imprisonment and psychiatric evaluation. The end of World War II and the defeat of Nazi Germany brought about his release, though Charlotte’s trials were far from over.
By 1946, Lothar had fully transitioned into Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, adopting the feminine name as a tribute to her Berlin neighborhood. She began living as a woman, though she faced considerable hardships under the Communist regime of East Germany. The harsh political environment of the DDR (German Democratic Republic) was particularly unkind to sexual minorities, but Charlotte found ways to live authentically. One of the key aspects of her survival was her creation of the "Gründerzeit Museum" in Berlin-Mahlsdorf. The museum, which she founded in 1960, became a sanctuary for historical preservation and a gathering space for the LGBT community. Despite the disapproval of East German authorities, the museum became a cultural hub and a symbol of resistance against the regime's repression.
Charlotte's life was marked by a series of difficult and transformative relationships. She worked as a domestic servant for an elderly man, Herbert von Zitzenau, with whom she had a long sexual relationship. Her preference for older partners, she explained, was rooted in the sense of protection and affection she felt, mirroring the experiences many women have in relationships with older men. This affair, which lasted for several years, ended with Zitzenau’s death, but Charlotte continued to find love and connection in East Berlin’s underground gay scene.
One of her most significant and long-lasting relationships was with Joechen, a partner with whom she engaged in sadomasochistic roleplay for 27 years. Their relationship, which spanned nearly three decades, provided Charlotte with a sense of fulfillment and companionship that allowed her to maintain her sense of identity and personal freedom in an otherwise repressive environment.
The Gründerzeit Museum became a crucial aspect of Charlotte’s life and legacy. The museum showcased everyday objects from the late 19th century, primarily from the Gründerzeit period (the era around the founding of the German Empire). It became a unique and vital space for preserving history, and Charlotte’s dedication to this project helped cement her status as an important figure in the preservation of Berlin's cultural heritage.
However, the museum was also a point of contention with the East German authorities. In 1974, the government attempted to seize control of the museum and its contents, a move that Charlotte fiercely resisted. In a defiant act, she began giving away the museum's exhibits to visitors, and with the help of her supporters, including actress Annekathrin Bürger and lawyer Friedrich Karl Kaul, the authorities’ efforts were thwarted, and Charlotte was able to keep the museum under her control.
Despite these successes, Charlotte’s life in East Germany was not free from conflict. As a trans woman and a prominent figure in the gay community, she faced persecution from both the state and societal forces. In 1989, during the premiere of "Coming Out", East Germany’s first gay-themed film, Charlotte’s life and work became more widely recognized. However, it was also a time of increasing instability, as neo-Nazis attacked a celebration at her museum, injuring several attendees. This violence served as a reminder of the deep-seated prejudice that continued to threaten Charlotte and her community.
Charlotte von Mahlsdorf's tireless work and contributions to both the preservation of Berlin's history and the advancement of LGBT rights were eventually recognized by the German government. In 1992, she received the prestigious "Bundesverdienstkreuz" (Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany) for her efforts to promote sexual freedom. Despite facing ongoing challenges, including the fall of the Berlin Wall and the subsequent reunification of Germany, Charlotte remained an active and visible figure in the fight for LGBT rights.
Her life story was immortalized in "Ich bin meine eigene Frau", the 1992 documentary by Rosa von Praunheim. The film, which blends interview footage with dramatized reenactments, explores Charlotte’s resilience and her multifaceted identity as a transgender woman in a turbulent historical context. In the film, two actors portray Charlotte at different stages of her life, while Charlotte herself appears as an elderly woman, recounting her experiences with frankness and dignity.
In addition to the documentary, Charlotte's life was further immortalized through various other works, including the Pulitzer Prize-winning play "I Am My Own Wife" by Doug Wright, which is based on the documentary and Charlotte’s autobiography. This play has received numerous prestigious awards, including a Tony Award and Drama Desk Award.
Charlotte von Mahlsdorf’s legacy as a pioneering transgender woman and museum founder endures, even after her death in 2002. Her memory is honored not only for her contributions to cultural preservation but also for her courageous stand against societal and governmental repression. In 2003, a memorial to Charlotte was erected in Berlin-Mahlsdorf, cementing her place in history as a trailblazer for both transgender rights and LGBT liberation.
Rosa von Praunheim’s "Ich bin meine eigene Frau" remains a powerful testament to the life of Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, a woman who lived through the horrors of Nazi Germany, survived the repressive regime of East Germany, and became a symbol of resistance and resilience for the LGBTQ+ community. Through the lens of this documentary, Charlotte’s journey as a transgender woman navigating hostile political and social landscapes is brought to life with sensitivity, depth, and respect, making it an invaluable contribution to the understanding of gender, identity, and survival in the face of oppression.
via: youtube
Image credits: YouTube
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