A random collection of films authored by or about my transgender, intersex sisters, and gender-nonconforming persons all over the world. I watched some of them, and I was inspired by some of them. I met some of the authors and heroines, some of them are my best friends, and I had the pleasure and honor of interviewing some of them. If you know of any transgender documentary that I have not covered yet, please let me know.

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Forvandlingen: Frihed kommer indefra

Director: Julie Bezerra Madsen
Release Year: 2023
Title in English: It's Always Been Me

Synopsis:
"Forvandlingen: Frihed Kommer Indefra" (2023), a documentary by Danish-Brazilian filmmaker Julie Bezerra Madsen, explores the deeply personal and transformative journeys of two young people, Max and Bastian, as they navigate the tumultuous transition from childhood to adolescence. Set against the backdrop of gender identity struggles, the film examines the complexities of puberty, self-identity, and the search for freedom in a world that often imposes rigid gender norms. Max and Bastian are both at pivotal moments in their lives, caught between childhood and young adulthood. 
 
Their experiences of puberty are marked not only by the usual physical and emotional changes but by the added challenge of confronting their gender identities. Max, born female, has recently come out as a transgender boy. Bastian, born male, feels more aligned with being a girl. Both are questioning the direction in which their bodies are developing, feeling as though their growth is not matching their internal sense of self. They face a critical decision that will affect their futures: whether to take hormones to stop their puberty and prevent their bodies from further developing in ways that do not align with their gender identities. 
 
The documentary delves into their emotional turmoil as they contemplate the life-altering decision of hormone treatment. For both Max and Bastian, the process of transitioning feels overwhelming, as they grapple with the uncertainty of whether they can trust their instincts about their gender and bodies in such a fluid and changing time. The film poignantly raises questions that many young people in similar situations must face: How do you truly know who you are when everything about your body and mind is changing? Can you trust yourself when even your gender identity is in doubt? And perhaps most fundamentally, what does it really mean to be a boy or a girl? For Max and Bastian, the answer may lie in the simpler, more universal truth: to simply be human. 
 
Throughout the film, we witness Max and Bastian as they are supported by their families and friends, who make efforts to understand and support them in their journey. Their loved ones offer help and reassurance, but the challenges they face are not only external. They are also deeply internal, as both young people are forced to make decisions about their future while navigating the confusion and emotional complexity of puberty. Madsen’s empathetic and respectful direction allows us to witness these struggles in an intimate way, providing a sensitive portrayal of the emotional and psychological impact of gender dysphoria during adolescence. Julie Bezerra Madsen’s documentary work often explores the theme of personal transformation and identity, as seen in her previous films like "Dreng" and "Forvandlingen – Frihed Kommer Indefra". In these works, Madsen has grappled with the complexities of gender identities, focusing on the importance of self-expression and freedom in the face of societal expectations. 
 
In "Forvandlingen: Frihed Kommer Indefra", Madsen skillfully combines a personal and documentary approach, capturing moments of deep vulnerability and emotional exploration, all while respecting the subjects’ autonomy and agency. Madsen’s filmmaking journey itself is one that intertwines with her exploration of identity and personal transformation. In a deeply personal reflection, Madsen shares her own experience of coming to terms with her mother's unexpected death, which prompted her to explore the themes of grief, family, and understanding through filmmaking. In this process, Madsen came to realize the profound importance of connecting with loved ones, a realization that resonates in her films, where the relationships between individuals, family, and identity are often explored with complexity and empathy. In "Forvandlingen: Frihed Kommer Indefra", Madsen presents a portrait of two young people in the process of becoming who they are, navigating a world that often insists on categorizing them by their gender. The film does not shy away from the difficulties and emotional weight of these decisions but instead celebrates the courage it takes to face such a monumental challenge. Max and Bastian are on the precipice of their futures, and the documentary captures their journey with remarkable openness, allowing the viewer to witness the raw, unfiltered experiences of these young people as they seek to find their place in the world. 
 
Julie Bezerra Madsen’s "Forvandlingen: Frihed Kommer Indefra" is not just a documentary about gender identity; it is an exploration of the human experience in all its complexity. By following Max and Bastian as they confront the profound changes in their bodies and identities, Madsen invites the audience into a space of empathy, understanding, and reflection. The film powerfully reminds us that transformation is a deeply personal process, one that requires immense courage and vulnerability. In the end, it is not just about discovering who you are—it is about embracing the journey of becoming, with all its uncertainties, challenges, and possibilities.
 
Image credits: filmcentralen.dk

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